Arkansas river in Canon City 11/25/24
Sometimes you tell God your plan and he laughs.
It was a loosely planned plan. It was a “this or something higher” plan.
In the end, I didn’t get ‘this,’ but I got something higher and I am sure that I am right where I need to be now, doing what I need to do.
I moved to Colorado in 2018, a little over six years ago. In summary, I love, love, loved having a chance to be with my family again even though the gatherings are infrequent. I see my parents the most although even many of those offers to come are met with “Oh honey, we are having our friends over,” or “going on a joy ride to the mountains,” or some other long awaited social plan.The older I get, the love stays high, but the time together with other family members reduces. They go off and meet friends and evolve a busy life just as I have done.
I’ve been getting calls about my book from California the last couple of years regarding Eva’s Journey. The calls vary, but the most interesting ones involved ideas and pathways by which my book could be made into a movie.
My interest peaked…
But I am in Colorado, working paycheck to paycheck as a CNA. I like the work. I like my life. Lord knows I have lived a hundred lifetimes in one life and the publishing of that book was a long time ago. Now I am busy doing CNA work…
…then I’d get another call…
Hmm…
This went on for over a year.
Then in August, a convergence began to happen. It seemed a lot of unrelated situations arose in a short period of time signaling to me a large scale change might be upon me.
I’d lived in California for sixteen years. I could go there and find work (CNAs are needed everywhere) and have face to face meetings in California to get a handle on what exactly the source of all this interest is.
In some ways it seemed like a no-brainer. You can’t let such a possibly monumental event just pass because you weren’t willing to put forth the effort to investigate. And yet I had a good job with good benefits. I had my routine. I had the possibility of seeing my family, and I really liked my life. I liked my apartment. I liked my walks at the lake and seeing my friends.
Yet events were happening. I started to feel like I was outgrowing the role at my job. Coincidentally, my year lease was expiring in September. If I was going to make a move, now would be a good time to do it. Conversations, events and soul searching followed over the next couple of months. It was clear a change was upon me so I started loading a storage unit with my possessions.
I also need to mention something profoundly life altering was also happening. A good friend passed away of cancer and he asked me to cater at his Celebration of Life service held before he died which I did. This occurred the end of September. –That whole experience could take a lot more than one blog to cover, and is out of the scope of this blog, but I mention it here because there is no way to adequately describe the soul level depth of this time without mentioning it.–
The last day of my PACE job was October 21. The move out date of my apartment was October 23. My stuff was in the storage unit, and apartment vacated and I headed to my parent’s home to stay a couple of nights, visit, rest, and finalize plans.
I’d already on previous visits had the conversation about moving to Canon City. Would my parents feel better with a daughter close by? Each time I brought it up, they’d emphatically said things like they value their independence and they are doing fine. Besides, my mother said, I can’t slow down at my age. I need to live life. They whole-heartedly encouraged me to travel if that is what I felt I needed to do.
It wasn’t a given I was going to stay in California a long time. It wasn’t a given I would stay at all, but if I did I was thinking a year. I could come back then or even before then if my parents needed help. It would be time to have the connections and discussions in California to help me understand what was possible with the book, and also reconnect with old friends.
I left in my car for California on October 25. It is hard to believe it was exactly one month ago because it seems like much longer. Thanks SO MUCH to the friends and family, some connected with me electronically, others I saw in person. I was able to do a lot of soul level connection, and move my life forward though the course of an amazing trip.
I went the route of I-80 through Wyoming, Utah, and Nevada. The weather could not have been more perfect, and the scenery was fantastic! Every segment it seemed the foliage was at its apex with rich, vibrant colors. Everywhere I looked the scenery looked calendar quality, and every hundred miles or so, the scenery would change massively. Nevada does not look like Utah. Utah does not look like Wyoming. Wyoming does not look like the plains of Colorado.
My arrival to California felt euphoric. I did things I had planned, I enjoyed the sight of the place I’d lived 8 years of my life, and felt it out listening to my own inner guidance. Twice before in my life I had moved to California in a similar fashion as now, and it had flowed. One thing led to another and soon I was set up in California.
It wasn’t like that this time. Things felt off. I got a paradoxical feeling of “Welcome home!,” because I absolutely love it there mixed with a deep feeling of “this isn’t the time to remain here.” That voice saddened me, but stay or go back, I am committed to do the RIGHT thing.
As I spent time vacationing, frolicking, visiting, completing tasks, and pondering my fate, the “this isn’t the time” voice won out. I was going to go back for now.
I headed back once again toward the I-80 late one afternoon. I got as far as the mountains of California and car camped at a rest stop. Early morning I started out making it though Nevada and Utah. Intuition guided me not to stop in Salt Lake City to visit as I had on the my way to California, but I didn’t know why. I passed most of the way through the Utah mountains before I hit the snow. Lighted signs on the interstate warned of an approaching snowstorm. If I had stopped in Salt Lake City I probably would have been snowed in a while.
About 20 miles into Wyoming I knew what they were talking about about the storm. I hadn’t seen blizzard conditions like that in years. I-80 was filled with semi-tucks. There were about 20 for every one car, which turned out to be helpful because their big heavy tires sprayed the snow from the roads. Even so, the snow kept coming, the visibility was getting worse and roads more hazardous. It was also night time and dark by this point.
I made the decision to get off the road for the night so I exited where there were services. Once stopped, I noticed an outdoor table that looked like it had 10-12 inches of snow on it about 9:00pm. The heavy snow continued until the early hours of the morning, so I don’t know what the entire accumulation was. The nice thing about traveling a major interstate is they keep the roads as clear as possible and by 9:00am they were snow packed but weren’t too bad to travel. Although the snow fall would come and go, it wasn’t as severe as the previous night and visibility was fine.
I was grateful for my choice to stop for the night from the looks of all the semi-trucks I passed which were off the road and stuck. Some were turned over. The stretch of road which had perfect conditions a few days ago now had undergone a major storm. I stopped for two traffic jams while they cleared more wrecked semi-trucks. By the time I hit the Colorado border, I was past most of the snow fall.
Fast forward to today, November 25, I sit writing this blog at my parent’s home in Canon City. I just learned today I got a job with a local senior assisted living facility as a CNA, so it looks like home is Canon City for a while.
What about the book and California? I guess I will have to settle for zoom calls, but that is ok. Sometimes you tell God your plans and He laughs and puts you in Canon City. I have been able to visit with and support my parents and now, unlike before, they are receptive and wanting that.
God wanted me in California for a few days because of the transformative nature of the trip. I am a different person. Now God wants me here, in Canon City. Everything opened up and worked out amazingly. Now I am going to have a fantastic Thanksgiving with my family before I begin my new job.