Above photo is from today’s (April 21) walk around Prospect Lake at Memorial Park in Colorado Springs.
Today brought with it a slight exhale and a reflection as I realize many of the goals I’d set six years ago have come to pass. Some of the goals were simple: have an income that makes supporting an apartment possible (check!,) I got a newer, safer car (check! thanks to the guy who rammed me at a red light,) Harmonious relationships with friends and family (check!) Pay down debt… ok you can’t have everything. World peace, (sorry world, failed on that one.) Maybe the state of the wider world still needs some work, and some love from us humans collectively.
However, personally I have my ‘Arrival.’ I have been meditating, working steadily, taking on yet another part time source of income, and giving thanks. I wouldn’t call my life ‘thriving’ yet, but I’ve arrived at ‘stable.’ I realize I am only one person. The giant problems of the world will always be out there. The negative news, the wars and violence… Yes I live in the world. Yes, I want to make as positive an impact as I can, and I know keeping my own body healed and spirit healthy precedes the ability to contribute to others and the larger world. I defer the geo-political decision making to those in the positions to make them and pray they get it right. I have a belief that prayer does matter, so I do contribute.
The last six years have been a whirlwind. My life was healing on many fronts because life needed to heal. I felt like my health needed improvement, and my mind needed clarity that would only restore with improved health. The gym workouts and diet created an up and down journey of lost weight, then regained, then lost, than regained, as though I am in conflict with the part of me that wants a higher body-mass set point than I do. However, I feel better… much better, which gives me hope that this topsy-turvy conflict will end well, eventually. Mentally, I feel more clear and more integrated with past, present and future. I live more in the moment.
I give a lot of credit for this to the job I currently do. I debated as I began this job whether I could even handle it physically. I was still feeling poorly then, but I had lost a lot of weight. It challenged me both physically and mentally because there was so much travel, so many appointments, and details of the visits. There was charting, and meetings and relating to the administration and coworkers.
Even though this is a simple job in comparison to others I have done in the past when I was younger, I felt stretched very thin to achieve what this one required. Nearly three years in, I can say I ‘Arrived.’ Not only have I made it work, but I feel I can take on more. My health and mental clarity have improved that much giving me encouragement that much is possible.
Another improvement in my health came unexectedly. I am grateful that I said ‘Yes’ to my first colonoscopy. I am in my fifties, and they are recommended after turning fifty. I thought I’d sail through this test as I had many others since I have been mostly a vegetarian for 23 years. (‘Mostly’ because I am not afraid of the occasional chicken stock etc, that might be present in restaurant ‘veggie’ meals.) I thought that would help with this particular test.
Although the polyps found during the colonoscopy were removed so now there is no risk, one of them was big enough to be labeled ‘pre-cancerous’ according to the doctor. Yikes! Perhaps that is another reason I felt poorly and now I feel so much better! I curtailed a health disaster that might have been, simply by agreeing to get the test. Because of this, I highly recommend that people get a colonoscopy if your doctor recommends it even if you think nothing will be found.
So, reflecting back on the six years, I feel my ‘Arrival’ on many fronts. Although there are still unmet goals, and room for improvement, I am still walking this planet, and things ain’t so bad.
Life is good!