I am watching the movie “All the President’s Men” tonight with Robert Redford and Dustin Hoffman based on a book about Watergate written by Carl Bernstein and Bob Woodward. In the plot of the story they mentioned Maurice Stans as a center figure of the story. That name sounded familiar and as I watched the movie, I re-found this picture.
The man pictured in the wheelchair is my father’s first cousin and early in his life, one of his best friends. He was getting and award in Washington D.C. In July 1971 for making the University of Colorado in Boulder the first handicap accessible college in the country. This occurred before the ADA (Americans with Disabilities Act) was passed.
His mother, my Aunt Roberta had graduated from Berkeley. He died a few months after my paternal grandfather from complications to his muscular dystrophy, shortly after receiving this award. To say I missed him and my grandfather during that time is an understatement.
To see the connection between the plot of All the President’s Men (and therefore Watergate) and the man in this picture is eerie for me. Two worlds which rarely touch, touched at that time, our family, and the highest levels of the national government. Coincidentally the touch happened during a firestorm in the country, our family and my young life.
That is my perspective. I don’t speak for anyone else in my family. They can express their own point of view. I was this little girl, and this picture was taken two months after the death of my paternal grandfather. I was 5.
My paternal grandfather was gone but my maternal grandfather lived. My maternal military German grandfather made this time more difficult than it otherwise would have been.
To give context, he was a man that was asked to stop working with a church youth group for being inappropriate with some of the young girls. I don’t claim my experience represents any of his other four granddaughters. However, to not say what his shadow influence on my own life had been would omit such a profoundly strong influence, there would be no way to express who I was then or who I am now without mentioning it.
Some say to me: Let the past go. Live in the moment. Be kind. Be positive. I feel like I do all those things. Part of my ability to do that is self awareness. Part of self awareness is knowing myself in the context of the entirety of my life. My mother does not like that I bring this topic up, and really does not like that I mention that my grandfather was military German. I respect that. She too has her own experience and point of view.
I am part German, and many friends and a few mentors (like Eckhart Tolle) are German. Not all Germans act like my grandfather. His favorite movie was Best Little Whorehouse in Texas and one of my younger cousins who studied psychology as an adult has come forward publicly regarding his abusive behavior. She had lived in the same town as my grandparents. Many years ago, she gave me permission to mention that because it is important for context when talking about this.
I learned in adulthood my grandfather’s brother worked for the Pentagon. I don’t know how or if that fits in with anything else here I am writing about except maybe for shedding light on the power dynamics of our family. To the degree those in power in my life did not stand up to that which they should have, they left it to those of us who were powerless then, to stand up for ourselves later as we could.
The difference was on the national stage, what was public was known by everyone. My personal experience was known by only me and those who were creating the gravity in my life. For reasons I still can’t understand, I wasn’t able to speak of it to anyone then. Writing this wasn’t possible until I was much older and I had more distance from it and knowledge.
Sixty year old Heather can finally give five year old Heebee (my nickname then) context to understand her young life. She can also give sixty year old Heather adult context for understanding the world and the people in it in a way she otherwise would not have. I have always seen the good in people and in the vast majority of interactions, the good is what I experience. What I would get broadsided by was when people would do unethical or cruel things I didn’t expect.
I like to believe that time heals things. Good wins out, it just sometimes takes a while. When circumstances in the moment seem precarious I remind myself of that. I love the Biblical phrase, “this too shall pass” which expresses the same sentiment. It all worked out okay in my life personally and in the country. I pray it always does… for everyone.